POD Punishable On Dating
by CaPtain SpOcKettE
Summary: Leah & Jake keep arguing & fighting & both the council & the Cullens are sick of it. *rating for slight language*
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight just the plot & anything never mentioned in the series._

_**P.O.D. Punishable On Dating**_

_Chap1: __**BBQ Ribs**_

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><p>Both packs are at the site where their bonfires are held helping their imprints and friends get it together for the reservation's bonfire later tonight and what do you know Jacob and Leah are arguing…again! They have been arguing nonstop for weeks now with no end in sight and it's driving everyone crazy including the Cullens whose home they are sent to when their arguing gets too loud…or violent where Leah is concerned. The worst part about their fighting, they fight over stupid things…<p>

"Yes you did!"-Jacob said angrily as he balled his fists

"No the hell I didn't how are you going to tell me what I did or didn't say you turd!"-Leah said just as angry and even took a step to get in his face.

"You're so full of shit Clearwater."-Jacob growled and shook slightly. Leah scoffed then laughed evilly.

"Fuck. You."-she hissed

"I would, but I might catch something."-he smirked and she growled and shoved him and was about to smack him when Sam grabbed her arm and carried her away.

"Let me go so I can kick his ass!"-she screamed as she kicked and flailed about.

"Yeah let her go so I can whoop her ass Nice. And. Slow."-Jacob said slowly as he gestured his hand back and forth as if he had her over his knee spanking her. This drove Leah mad and started growling more fiercely and bit Sam on the arm to get away.

"Ow!"-he screeched and released her to grab his arm and she flew forward ready to phase and rip Jacob apart. Jacob yanked his shirt off and crouched waiting for the attack and for a second Leah faltered when his muscles flexed as he did so, but of course that didn't last long.

"Stop!"-Billy yelled just having arrived with Sue shaking her head as she walked behind him seeing her daughter and his son in yet another fight.

"She bit me, she actually bit me!"-Sam said in disbelief

"Oh suck it up."-Billy said as he waved his hand dismissively making the packs snicker. Leah and Jacob were right in front of each other glaring and growling as they breathed heavily. Jacob would never hit or fight a girl, but Leah was making him reconsider.

"What on earth is going on here?"-Billy asked once he was right next to the two angry wolves. Neither said anything and continued to glare at the other; at least they stopped growling. Billy moved so that the two would have to back up and with this angle Jacob could now see down Leah shirt with every breath she took and he had to admit he was enjoying the display in front of him, maybe even a little too much. He kept staring and found himself growling deep within his chest causing Leah to growl back and damnit if that wasn't the sexiest thing he'd ever beheld. It wasn't until Sue cleared her throat to get them to stop growling did Jacob realize he was growling to begin with. He played it off like it was an angry growl when in reality it was a happy growl, a very very happy growl.

"One of you want to let us in on why you are trying to kill each other…again?"-Sue said stepping forward eyeing the two. Leah huffed and crossed her arms making Jacob scowl at the loss of his view.

"It's his fault he started it."-she said point and glaring at him and he gave her the finger.

"Fuck you too asswhole!"-she hissed and stepped forward.

"You know it would be nice if two of you other wolves stand over here behind these two."-Sue said scanning the crowd of onlookers.

"Oh right sorry."-Embry said coming up behind Leah, but her glare sent him over to Jacob. No one wanted to get bitten or have her wrath turned to them, so they all looked around to each other and finally all eyes landed on Seth. He looked up wide eyed and tried to shrink away.

"Let's go boy."-Old Quil said in his usual grouchy tone. Seth sighed and stepped forward behind Leah. They all knew she wouldn't hurt _him_…too bad.

"Now let's try this again."-Billy said. Jacob sighed and relaxed his stance.

"Leah is mad at me because she told me t-"

"I did not tell you to do anything."-she hissed; Billy put his hand up silencing her.

"As I was saying Leah told me to put more barbeque sauce on the ribs, but she forgot she told me and came up behind me while I was doing it and started yelling at me."-Jacob said crossing his arms

"You two are arguing because Leah told you to put more barbeque sauce on ribs?"-Old Quil said dryly, but was still a little disbelieving.

"I did _not_ tell him to put more sauce on them he did that on his own. Now they're going to be dry and rough just like his skin."-she huffed and Billy and Sue didn't know if they should laugh or sigh.

"Answer this; will it make a difference to either of you or anyone else in the packs if they are dry and rough or moist and tender?"-Sue asked. The packs snorted like it was obvious, but Leah and Jacob were too pigheaded to answer even though everyone knew the answer.

"I didn't think so. Because you two want to act so childishly you have to eat those ribs."-Billy said, but frowned thinking this wasn't much of a punishment because to be honest he'd still eat them himself. Then again these two are drama queens.

"What?"-they both yelled then glared at each other.

"You heard me you two eat the dry ribs and everyone else gets the ones made right. Oh and I want you both to finish grilling _together_ to make up for the time we've wasted on this ridiculousness."-Billy said and wheeled away; everyone went back to what they were doing, but watched the two closely.

"This is all your fault."-Jacob hissed pointing his finger at her.

"How is this my fault?"-she hissed back as she slapped his hand away.

"You should have never told me to put on the barbeque sauce only to turn around and do it yourself."-he said balling his fist

"I did _not_ ask you to do that you stupid shit face!"-Leah screeched and stomped her foot. Jacob opened his mouth, but Old Quil clearing his throat ended his rant before it started, so he just pointed at her and walked back over to the grill.

"I'm not eating what they're making."-Quil said to Jared who nodded his agreement.

"Good I'll eat both your shares."-Paul said grinning while patting his stomach. He'd been sitting on his ass the entire time not helping in the least.

"Fat ass."-Jared said shaking his head

"Jealous."-Paul smirked then stretched out like he was on the beech trying to get a tan.

J+L=J+L=J+L=J+L

Later that night the bonfire was in full swing and all of La Push was there, so the wolves knew to keep their usually open conversation closed and anger under control. Leah was sitting on a log by the forest staring sadly at her ribs and had a look like she was about to cry.

"This is all your fault."-her nemesis said as he seated himself next to her. Leah growled and moved away from him, but he grinned and scooted closer with each move she made and eventually she ran out of log and fell on her ass. Jacob laughed loudly drawing attention and some people were stupid enough to laugh and point at Leah on the ground. She growled low enough so no one but Jacob would hear and slowly, eerily sat her plate down and began to stand. Jacob grabbed her to sit her back down before she massacred the poor bastards, but he pulled too hard and she landed in his lap.

"What are you doing?"-she huffed and fought his grip around her waist, but he wouldn't give making her growl again

"You can't hurt humans or give our secret away calm down."-he hissed as she still struggled. It was when his wolf senses heard the curious whispers of _are they together_ and _she is so lucky_ or _they are so cute together_ did he realized to an outsider their current position looked promiscuous. He let her go and because she was struggling she flew backwards and reached out to stop her fall, but only succeeded in pulling him down on top of her.

"What the hell was that?"-she screamed in his face furious he threw her.

"You wanted me to let go."-he shrugged then whistles from the pack could be heard.

"Get off of me."-she hissed trying to shove him off

"You know I thought fuck you was just an expression, I never knew you meant it. I mean I don't mind, but it's a little public don't you think?"-he said smirking then squealed like a girl when her knee collided between his legs. His eyes watered as he rolled off Leah and collapsed on his side clutching himself. Leah stood up smirking and dusted herself off before walking away to get more food. Jacob's pack ran over to him trying to hold in their laughter as they helped him into a sitting position.

"You alright Jake?"-Quil asked as he cleared his throat like his life depended on it. Jacob's face was red when he looked up and his cheeks were puffed out trying to keep his girly screams and moans in.

"You uh want some ice for that?"-Embry asked coughing like his life depended on it rather than Quil's throat clearing.

"No I'm-I'll be fine just give me a minute."-Jacob squeaked out and the guys couldn't hold it any longer and laughed loudly drawing more attention to the scene and causing chuckles to spread throughout the bonfire. The idiots who laughed before were more reluctant to laugh out right as they did with Leah since Jacob was so huge, but they were still stupid enough to chuckle. That is until Jacob stood up sending daggers around the camp. He tried to step forward, but his knees were wobbly.

"Jake dude maybe you should sit down and wait for your uh…wait for the pain to go away."-Seth suggested as he kept him upright. Jacob took a deep breath and released himself from Seth's hold.

"No I'm fine, but I want to apologize."-he said to Seth

"For what?"-he asked confused

"For killing your sister."-he said then scanned the crowd and sniffed the air to find her. He smelled her scent coming from the food area and looked over to see her filling a plate with the good ribs. He squared his shoulders and moved forward.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."-Quil said wearily, but Jacob ignored him and continued his angry walk towards a happy Leah.

"What the hell Leah, you didn't have to go that far."-he growled angrily. Those who were getting food made a hasty retreat when they saw him coming knowing no good would come from this. Leah turned around with a chicken wing hanging from her mouth.

"Ykggy asklfeig foru."-she said smirking with the chicken still in her mouth. Jacob snatched it and threw it towards the trees.

"Hey I was eating that!"-she yelled glaring at him. From across the camp the council was shaking their heads and Billy and Sue looked at each other in silent apologies for their kid's behavior.

"You could have just shoved me off of you."-he said angrily

"You asked for it."-she simply shrugged

"Mad because you don't get to use it?"-he smirked and she balled her fist

"Gah!"-she said and went to go back to her seat when he grabbed her arm.

"What are you doing we aren't allowed to eat the goods ribs thanks to you"-he said pointing at the plate in her right hand which was full of mouthwatering, non-rough or dry ribs.

"Well since it was your fault I figured I was exempt from their little ban on good ribs, but you go ahead and enjoy the dry ones I'll even let you have mine."-she said smiling

"If I don't get any neither do you."-he said reaching for her plate and she pulled it back and shielded it with her body.

"You touch my ribs and I'll break yours."-she growled glaring at him. They were very still for a moment like the calm before the storm.

"Uh oh that can't be good."-Billy said as he watched the two

"Embry Seth."-Sue said gesturing towards the two very still wolves, but it was too late. Jacob moved to snatch her plate the same time she moved to dodge him making her food spill.

"You piece of shit!"-she hissed and lunged taking him off guard and they pummeled into the food table and took it out making food fly everywhere. They rolled around wrestling with Leah throwing jabs and Jacob trying to grab her and keep her still. They rolled over to the other food tables taking them out as well and finally the drink table.

"Food fight!"-some boys yelled and before anyone could blink food began to fly through the air. Jacob and Leah were still at it when the pack made it over to break them up.

Finally after about twenty minutes the situation was under control, but everyone was already covered in food and drinks. Everyone in their twenties and younger were grinning from ear to ear, but those older were scowling. Jacob and Leah were held at opposite ends of the camp and were covered in more food than anyone else.

"I guess the bon fire is over?"- said Old Quil who somehow managed out of everyone to stay clean as he walked over to a salad covered Billy.

"Yeah I guess it is."-he said and everyone cleared out. Feeling their parent's gazes on them, Leah and Jacob both try to slip away in the crowd, but it's kind of hard when you're built like a gladiator.

"Get over here."-Billy and Sue said to their kids who begrudgingly obeyed and stalked toward them.

"Because of your antics, you two incited a riot."-Sue said

"A food fight is hardly riot."-Leah said rolling her eyes and Jacob actually agreed with her. Billy and Sue gave a mom and dad stare down shutting the two teens up.

"You two are going to stay here as long as it takes and clean this mess up."-Sue said

"By ourselves?"-Jacob exclaimed dramatically waving his hands around to the mess that was created.

"Yes by yourselves."-Billy said as he and Sue turned to go to the car and leave the two to their task.

"This is all your fault."-Jacob said poking Leah

"If you wouldn't have tried to steal my food this never would have happened."-she hissed poking him back.

"Whatever let's just get this over with."-he huffed and she huffed back and grabbed a trash bag and started picking things up.

"Here let me help you with the barbeque sauce."-Jacob said ad she turned around confused until he bowed his head and gave her a long lick across her neck.

"There all clean."-he said laughing as she stood there frozen and eyes wide.

"You did not just do that!"-she said shocked

"Oh yes I did."-he said then licked her face. She flinched for just a second before chasing him. He didn't get far before she tackled him and tried her best to keep her promise and break his ribs. Sue and Billy heard shuffling and turned to see their children at it again. Sue sighed.

"What are we going to do with them?"-she said shaking her head.

"You know you liked it!"-Jacob laughed as Leah pounded him in the ribs and was effective in breaking one making him yelp and flip her over, but then kept rolling. This time Billy sighed.

"I say we sell them in the black market."-he said and Sue looked over at him.

"That's wrong Billy we can't do that. What if they find our address and send them back."-she said and they continued to the car leaving their children to try and kill each other.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: This idea popped into my head this morning it's only a two shot and I already have the other part written, but I'm hungry so I'm going to make something to eat then edit and post the second part._


	2. Chapter 2

_**P.O.D. Punishable On Dating**_

_And now the conclusion enjoy…_

_Chap2: __**Angry Dinner**_

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><p>"Ah, yes here you are right this way Ms. Clearwater."-the hostess said as she showed Leah to her seat. She was seated in a corner with only one other seat, but thought nothing of it and figured it would be cleared up later once everyone arrived.<p>

"Here's a menu look it over and the waiter will be with you shortly to offer you a drink."-she said then retreated to her stand when another customer entered the fancy establishment.

The pack decided to have a nice night out on the town and switch up scenery in hopes to ease the tension and spice things up in their normal routine. As Leah looked over the menu she heard the hostess return ushering someone else and told them the same thing before she left. As the person scooted up in their seat they accidentally kicked Leah's foot.

"Oh, sorry man."-he said. Leah stiffened and slowly lowered her menu to reveal Jacob sitting across from her in a black suit that fit him nicely, yes very nicely indeed.

"Ugh what the hell are you doing here?"-she grumbled siting her menu down

"It is my pack, so I think I'm on the guest list."-he said rolling his eyes

"Whatever."-she said rolling hers back

"You actually look like a girl."-Jacob said looking at the white cowl neck sweater dress she was wearing that covered her curves nicely, yes nicely indeed.

"Well you still look like an idiot."-she huffed and crossed her arms pushing her breast up. Jacob's eyes, on their own, accord snapped to look at them and lucky for him she was ignoring him and didn't notice.

"Can I get you something to drink?"-a tall male waiter with hushed gray eyes asked Leah as he smiled down at her. Jacob squinted his eyes at him not liking the stupid smile plastered on his face.

"Yes you can get me a glass of red wine."-Jacob said making his voice deeper than necessary. Leah and the waiter looked at him sideways until the waiter really looked and saw how huge he was.

"S-sure sir yes sir."-the waiter said nervously as he took his pen into his shaking hand and wrote it down.

"And for the lady?"-he said turning to Leah and his smile returned, fearfully, but it returned.

"She'll have the same."-Jacob said cutting in; Leah glared at him.

"Yes sir…um I'm going to have to ask for ID, company policy."-he said swallowing when Jacob glared at him.

"Do we look underage to you?"-he asked in the same deep voice

"No sir you don't I'll get them right away."-he said then sprinted off. Jacob started looking through his menu like nothing just happened.

"What the hell was that?"-Leah whisper yelled

"What?"-he asked innocently

"You almost made him shit himself."-she hissed and he shrugged

"His job is to be a waiter not a playboy."-he said casually and she scowled

"Whatever, but don't you ever order for me again."-she glared as the waiter came over with their glasses of wine.

"Here you are sir."-he said looking down at the table as he placed Jacob's drink in front of him.

"And for the lady."-he said placing her drink down and Leah smiled at him making him melt and smile back forgetting Jacob was there.

"Is there anything else I can do for you? Are you ready to order?"-he asked her sweetly

"No we aren't we'll call you when we are."-Jacob said rudely reminding the water that he was there. The waiter nodded and swiftly walked away.

"You are such an asswhole."-Leah said shaking her head

"Well you're a bitch so we're even."-he said sipping his wine, but gagged from the bitterness. The guy at the table across from them looked up and shook his head.

"Ugh this taste awful."-he said smacking his lips, scrunching his face.

"That's why it's not for children."-Leah said sipping her wine like a pro

"You would like something bitter wouldn't you."-he mumbled as he read over the menu

"Shut it before I shut it for you."-Leah said pointing one of the many forks at him. They sat there for a while with the waiter coming back and forth filling Leah's glass as they waited for the pack.

"What the hell is taking them so long?"-Jacob complained as the hostess walked over

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but there was a message for you stating you should start without them."-she said as she unnecessarily placed her hand on Jacob's shoulder.

"Did you slip and fall off balance?"-Leah asked eyeing her hand and the woman quickly snapped her hand back and shook her head quickly and all but ran back to her stand.

"Well that was very rude of you."-Jacob tisked

"Yeah because you've been treating our waiter like a king."-she said rolling her eyes and skimming the menu one more time.

"He deserves it."-he said gripping his menu a little too tightly. Leah called the waiter over.

"Ah, so you are finally ready to order."-he said trying to hide his smile, so Jacob wouldn't go on another rant.

"Yes we are. I'll have stuffed chicken marsala, honey dijon Cornish hens and chicken, shrimp scampi, pan seared scallops, and fillet of beef."-Jacob said and the waiter looked at him wide eyed and in disbelief that one human was intending on eating all of that.

"Is there a problem?"-Jacob asked staring him down

"No sir not at all. And for the lady?"-he asked still a little stunned Jacob thought he could eat all of that.

"She'll have-"

"I'll have sea scallops with sauce seuniere, garlic shrimp and peas with linguine, low fat oven-fried scallops, shrimp and pasta in a basil cream sauce, shrimp-crab crepes in wine-cheese sauce , and buca di beppo chicken glorioso ."-she said closing her menu. The waiter stood there even more wide eyed and mouth slightly ajar as well as the man who'd been watching them from the table next to them.

"That's a lot of food are you sure you can eat all of that?"-the waiter asked with the same facial expression.

"Now don't you go worrying yourself about that I'm a big eater."-she said smiling and pat his hand making Jacob scowl.

"Well I never would have guessed with such a nice figure as you have."-the waiter said gazing at her body. Leah gave a slight giggle and Jacob gave a low growl.

"That will be all."-Jacob said through clenched teeth. The waiter nodded and in a daze walked back to the kitchen to give their enormous order.

"He's really asking for me to phase and eat him."-Jacob said still growling, but low enough for only Leah's ears to pick up.

'Would you stop it."-she hissed and kicked him under the table

"Ow stop hitting me."-he said reaching down to rub his leg when he caught the man next to them staring, so he glared and the man turned back to his food, but threw another look at Leah; Jacob huffed and sat up.

"I will when you stop being a dick to him."-she said shaking her head

"Well he deserved it _Well I never would have guessed with such a nice figure as you have _pfft."-he said trying to mock the waiter and failing horribly because of his deep voice.

"Aww is Jakey jealous?"-Leah mocked in a baby voice; he scowled at her, but before he could answer the hostess swung her hips their way.

"Ugh here comes this bitch."-Leah mumbled as she sat up straighter to make her presence known. Jacob smirked and sat up and leaned back so his chest, which was partially exposed because the top buttons weren't done, was visible to her. By the look on her face it indeed was visible. The hostess walked right to him like Leah wasn't even there and smiled leaning over a bit so her cleavage was in his face. Jacob heard a threatening growl come across the table from a stiff Leah. He was trying to figure out if he should be mad, aroused, on terrified for this stupid woman who didn't realize a she wolf was currently making her its prey.

"How can I help you?'-he asked sweetly smiling at her and gave Leah a side glance. She smiled eve brighter and leaned forward a little more.

"There is another message for you sir."-she said seductively

"Oh is there?"-he said and licked his lips and Leah's growl got louder making him smirk.

"Yes it said we can't make it, but you two crazy kids have fun."-she said while yet again placing her hand on his shoulder and was bold enough to slide it down a little towards his chest.

"You really need to stop wearing those shoes if they keep making you slip and lose your balance."-Leah said in a calm but very scary voice. The woman's head popped up and her eyes widened realizing Leah was still there and she backed away so quick she bumped into a waiter who spilled a drink on her.

"Here let me help you."-Jacob said making to move, but a growl from Leah stopped him. The woman composed herself and stood.

"Well was there a name to this message or would you like for us to guess?"-Leah said glaring at her and the woman stuttered.

"Y-yes um t-the name was um Quil and Pack."-she said looking at Leah and making sure she stayed a good three feet away from Jacob.

"You can go now."-Leah said as she waved her hand dismissively

"Yes thank you."-Jacob said smiling until Leah kicked him under the table with the heel of her shoe, her pointed five inch heels to be exact. Jacob yelped.

"Are you okay sir?"-the hostess said running over to see what was wrong and Leah stood and moved to the other side of the table. The woman looked up terrified in what Leah would do. Leah just stood there letting the bitch know she needed to back off before she ends up bald headed. The lady stood slowly as if moving fast would cause Leah to snap. Leah toward over her to the point it was comical.

"I'll be at my station if you need anything."-she said then ran, literally this time, back to her stand. Leah kneeled like she was examining his leg, but gripped it tightly.

"You pull that shit again and you'll be responsible for her death."-she said looking at his leg, so anyone watching would think she was concerned.

"Jealous?"-Jacob said grinning smugly. Leah dug her nails into his leg and he had to ball his fist to keep from squealing like a girl.

"Hardly."-she said smiling and stood just when the waiter came over accompanied by three other waiters to help deliver their huge order.

"It's done already?"-she said smiling at their waiter

"Yes, had them focus on your order specifically so you wouldn't have to wait long."-he said smiling back and Jacob sighed loudly while rolling his eyes. Leah turned back to her seat and it seemed all male eyes were on her watching her walk. Jacob crossed his arms annoyed as the waiter ran over and pulled her chair out for her.

"Oh thank you that's so chivalrous of you."-she said giggling making him smile broadly. Jacob scoffed. The waiters got to work placing their orders in front of them.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?"-he asked both of them, but his eyes kept cutting to Leah.

"Did we ask for anything else?"-Jacob said rudely

"No sir call me if you need me."-he said and left them to eat.

"I guess they forgot to teach him how to not flirt with customers when he was hired here."-Jacob grumbled as he started eating.

"Damn this is good!"-he said and started eating heartily.

"He's not flirting and if it was what's it to you? And would you eat like a human we're not at McDonalds."-she hissed at him as she placed a napkin in her lap.

"I didn't say it was anything to me I just don't like it."-he said into his bowl not meeting her eyes.

"Oh, and why exactly don't you like it?"-she asked raising a brow at took a bite of her food.

"Damn this is good!"-she exclaimed and started eating how Jacob was moments earlier.

"I don't know just-just drop it! And you look worse than I do eating like that since you're a girl."-he said finally sparing her a glimpse. He knew why he didn't like it, but he didn't want to admit it, he was jealous and wanted all of Leah's attention and smiles for himself that's why he flirted with the hostess to make her feel how she was making him feel, but there was no way in hell he would ever say that out loud.

"Since when am I a girl according to you guys I'm more manly than you are."-she said hiding her face in her hair as she kept eating. Jacob felt kind of guilty because he knew she didn't like it and knows that's partly the reason she's always trying to beat the shit out of him…partly.

"You know we're just playing around when we say that right?"-he asked quietly, but she didn't answer just kept eating with her hair blocking her face.

"Lee…"-he said and reached across the table and placed his hands on hers. She snapped her hand back.

"Yeah I know just drop it."-she said and took a sip of wine; it's a good thing they're shifters or she would be wasted beyond belief. He sighed and sat back in his seat. They ate in silence for a while, with Jacob stealing glances at her, when his phone buzzed.

_From: Dad_

_Sorry son the guys can't make it they asked me to tell you so you two won't be sitting there waiting_.

"Who is it?"-Leah asked looking over at his frowning face.

"Dad."-he said starting his own text

"What'd he want?"-she asked

"To tell me the guys can't make it, but they already told us, so why would they then ask him to tell us."-he said wondering what was going on.

_To: Dad_

_They already left a message at the desk y wuld they ask u to send 1?_

Just as he it was sent Leah's phone went off.

_From: Mom_

_Sorry honey the guys asked me to tell you they can't make it, but you and Jake enjoy yourselves._

Leah looked at her screen confused

"Who was it?"-Jacob asked eyeing her

"Mom, she said the same thing your dad said."-she answered frowning

"Okay what the hell is going on?"-Jacob said as his phone went off again.

_From: Dad_

_Oh well then you already know so forget I sent you anything._

Leah decided to question her mother as well.

_To: Mom_

_The guys n Billy both already told us so y would they ask you 2?_

"I think our parents set us up and the pack was never coming."-Jacob said astonished

"But why would they do that?"-Leah queried

"To get back at us for ruining the bon fire that's why."-he said balling his fist. He couldn't believe it, his dad set him up to suffer through dinner with Leah of all people, the one woman in the world he can't stand and can't stand him.

"That would explain why none of the guys ever brought it up."-she said shaking her head. Jacob pulled out his phone and started texting again.

"What are you doing?"-Leah asked peeking over the table

"I'm going to trick him."-he said smiling "You do the same with your mom and see what happens."-Leah nodded and began texting.

_To: Dad_

_Oh wait never mind Quil just got here_

_To: Mom_

_Hey Seth just made it :)_

"I can't believe they would do this- this is just cruel."-Leah said balling her fist

"Damn it's not that bad."-Jacob said offended

"It is when you're the person I have to have dinner with."-she huffed glaring at him.

"You aren't a prize either."-he hissed and she gave him the finger. Their phones vibrated before he could reply.

"They text us at the same time."-Leah said with a suspicious eyebrow lifted.

_To: Leah_

_Oh that's good honey I forgot they said Seth would be able to make it._

_To: Jacob_

_Right, that boy would lose his head if it wasn't screwed on. He told me this morning he could make it but I guess there was miscommunication. _

"I knew it! What did Sue say?"-Jacob asked and Leah handed him her phone for him to read.

"Wow they actually set this up."-he said shaking her head.

"Let's just get out of here."-Leah said gesturing for the waiter

"Did you enj-"

"Just give us the damn bill!"-Jacob said impatiently; the waiter nodded and handed him the bill.

"Why are you giving it to me why didn't you sit it in the middle?"-he said looking at the outstretched bill.

"Oh I uh figured…"-the waiter trailed off, gave Leah a sympathetic look and sat it in the middle and went back to work.

"What was that about?"-she asked huffing; Jacob ignored her.

"What the hell, did you see these prices!"-he exclaimed as his eyes widened at the bill.

"How much is it?"-Leah asked

"$675.35"-he whispered in disbelief

"What?"-Leah almost yelled. Jacob pulled out his phone and started pressing buttons.

"What are you doing?"-she asked pointing at his phone

"Subtracting to see how much my half is."-he said without looking up and missed the shocked and horrified look on Leah's face.

"What do you mean your half?"-she whisper yelled drawing the attention of the man next to them again.

"I mean my half, I'm not paying for you."-he scoffed

"How can you say that?"-she asked wide eyed

"Is this a date?"-he asked pausing from calculating to look over at her.

"Ew hell no we aren't together."-she said scrunching her face

"Exactly, so I'm not paying for you."-he said rolling his eyes

"Oh, and how do you plan on paying for yourself?"-she asked crossing her arms as he pulled out a platinum card.

"Where the hell did you get that?"-she asked shocked

"The Cullens found out we were coming here and told me to take their card."-he said motioning for the waiter.

"How did they find out?"-she asked curiously

"I don't know."-he said shrugging

"They were in on it too!"-she said sitting back shaking her head

"What, why would they do that?"-he asked skeptically

"They kept complaining about our arguing and Edward was desperate to get us away from them and to find "common ground" so we'd stop fighting and he's old fashioned, so he'd rather we sit and talk over dinner than fight and kill each other in the woods."-she said shaking her head at the conspiracy that was unfolding.

"Fuckers."-Jacob hissed as the waiter arrived

"Here you go."-Jacob said handing him his card "But only charge $419.10 to it."-he said as he gathered his things. The waiter looked at him waiting for him to say _I'm joking I'm paying for the lady as well, _but he didn't_._

"Jacob you can't seriously be leaving me here?"-Leah said urgently

"Yes I am."-he said standing. The waiter looked at him like he was scum and swiped his card and almost throwing in Jacob's face.

"But mom told me not to bring any money and that I would be taken care of."-she said on the verge of hysterics.

"Well she shouldn't have told you that."-he said walking towards the door.

"That money was for both of us Jacob!"-Leah said, but he kept going. She sat there watching his retreating form and felt humiliated as her eyes began to sting. She had no money and no way of paying.

"Excuse me miss?"-the guy who'd been watching them all night said as he came over and kneeled I front of her. She bowed her head trying to think of something to do and hide her embarrassment.

"Yes?"-she asked quietly as a tear slid down her face. He reached over and grabbed a napkin and wiped her tear away.

"You don't deserve to be treated like that, I've seen his attitude towards you throughout the night and he doesn't deserve your tears."-he said quietly

"He actually left me here."-she whispered still in shock

"Don't worry about him I'll pay for you."-the man said standing and reached for his wallet.

"What, no I can't ask you to do that."-Leah said grabbing his arm

"You didn't ask I offered that's what a real man does."-he said patting her hand and handed the card to the still in shock waiter.

"Do you have a ride home?"-he asked offering his hand for her to stand. Her eyes widened. Sue also told her to take a cab there and ride back "with the guys". She thought she would ride back with Jacob, but little did she know he was a pig and left her stranded. She covered her face with her hands shaking her head that she was in this position. The waiter came back with the guys card and stiffened unbeknownst to the guy who kneeled back down in front of her.

"No I don't."-she whispered through her hands. He lowered her hands so he could see her face and gave her a smile.

"Don't worry I'll take you home."

"No the hell you won't."-he deep voice hissed from the other side of the table. The man looked up and glared when he saw Jacob standing there with his fist balled at his sides. The man stood and squared his shoulders trying his best not to show how scared he was at the sight before him.

"If I recall you left this nice lady to fend for herself after a night of flirting with the hostess right in front of her no less."-he said calmly and crossed his arms.

"What the hell are you doing here; forgot your change?'-Leah glared

"Let's go."-Jacob said to Leah, but was watching the man.

"No, I'm not going anywhere with you."-Leah said standing

"Come on Leah."-he said looking at her

"You left me here."-she said upset and Jacob's eyes softened then widened when he saw the tear streak down her face.

"I was only joking with you I wanted to make you angry I didn't mean it. I would never do that to you."-he said softly as he took a step towards her, but she backed away and he felt hurt then anger when this guy he was growing hatred for and fast stepped in front of her.

"I believe she said no."-he said and placed his hand on Leah's back about to walk around the other side of the table, but Jacob was quicker and got in his face.

"If you want to keep that hand I strongly suggest you remove it."-he hissed and the man's façade slipped for a moment and fear shone through. Leah stepped away from him to prevent a fight.

"Leah please."-Jacob begged extending his hand. The waiter and the other man all watched her response as she slowly placed her hand in Jacob's.

"I don't think he deserves you and when you figure that out please, give me a call."-the man said smiling sweetly at her and slipped his number in her purse. Jacob growled loud enough to be heard by the man and waiter and when Leah dug her nails into his hand to get him to realize he was growling he played it off as indigestion and gas.

"Thank you."-Leah said nodding politely and walked out to the front with Jacob. She tried to pull her hand from his grasp, but he held it tighter.

"Let go of me Jacob."-she said still pulling her hand, but he gave one good tug and she fell into his chest.

"Leah I'm sorry."-he said trying to will her to look up at him, but she refused.

"You left me."-she said sadly

"I know and I'm sorry I really was only joking I would never do that. We bother each other, we tease, we argue, we fight that's how we are. I was only teasing you I never intended to make you pay or leave you behind."-he said gripping her tighter to emphasize he was being honest.

"Do you know how humiliated I was?"-she whispered shaking her head and he frowned.

"I'm sorry."-he whispered and hugged her; at first she stood stock still then slowly hugged him back and buried her face in his chest.

"Besides you've humiliated me countless times."-he said chuckling trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"No I haven't."-she said finally looking up at him not realizing he was still holding her close. He chuckled.

"Yeah you have like the time we all decided to run in wolf form to the movies rather than waste gas and you snatched my clothes from my cord before I could phase back and ran off and threw them in an alley."-he said smiling at the memory; she buried her face in his chest trying to hide her laugh.

"Yeah and I had to grab two trashcan lids and walk down the street to the alley and get my clothes…on a Friday night with everyone out."-he said chuckling and she finally laughed out loud.

"Okay I guess you're right."-she said smiling and stepped out of their embrace. He was tempted to pull her back, but fought the urge and settled on grabbing her hand and smiled to himself when she didn't pull back.

"I sent for the car while I made you wait."-he said as the hostess approached with the keys.

"Here you are sir."-she said slipping him the keys when along piece of paper.

"Thanks"-he said not sparing her a glance. He was never interested and only wanted to make Leah jealous and after he made her cry he surely didn't want to do anything else to upset her…at least tonight. The lady winked at him as they past and whispered _call_ _me_ thinking Leah couldn't hear. Leah stopped in her tracks and turned to grab the bitch, but Jacob pulled her back and spun her around.

"Come on ignore her."-he said pulling her face around to look at him instead of sending daggers to the hostess who was oblivious she was about to lose her life. Leah snatched the piece of paper the hostess handed him and saw it was her number.

"She has no right flirting with you and sure as hell not giving you her number."-she said balling up the piece of paper.

"You would have a right to get mad if we were on a date and you were my girlfriend, but like you said, we aren't together."-he said grinning

"Yeah…well…starting now we are."-she said and made to go after the hoe once more, but Jacob pulled her back.

"What?"-he asked wide eyed, he certainly didn't just hear her correctly.

"As of now we're together and once we leave here we won't be, what's so hard to understand."-she said eyeing him as if he were slow.

"Um I don't think it works that way."-he said slowly

"It does when I say it does. Like you said I can't get mad if we aren't together, so I officially make you my boyfriend and as your girlfriend I'm going to whoop her ass."-she said and moved forward quickly before he could grab her.

"Look here you bleach blond bitch if you even think about him I'm going to reach into your scull and pull out your brain. If we ever choose to eat here again which I highly doubt since these prices are too crazy even for crack heads, then I suggest you get someone else to seat us and if you so much as bat an eyelash I pound you until your face is unrecognizable. Oh and if you touch him I'm going to break every bone in your body, grind it up, put it in water, and feed it to you."-she hissed and let a growl escape, but thankfully the hostess was too busy shitting herself to notice.

Jacob walked up behind Leah and grabbed her arm and was surprised when she spun around, grabbed his face, and kissed him. He stood in shock for about two seconds then griped her waist and slid his tongue into her mouth and frenched her senseless forgetting and not caring why they were kissing in the first place. Against his urging, Leah pulled away, breathless and stunned, then turned to the hostess.

"Mine bitch!"-she snarled point at Jacob who was grinning like a fool.

"Alright honey let's go."-he said smiling trying to keep the hostess from fainting or screaming. But, Leah threw the balled up phone number at her and that was enough to make the lady squeal, stiffen, and faint.

"That'll teach the bitch."-Leah said huffing and smiling broadly.

"My girlfriend is homicidal."-Jacob said shaking his head

"Your ex-girlfriend was homicidal."- she corrected and he looked at her confused; she pointed at the ground.

"We're outside I'm not your girlfriend anymore."-she said like it was obvious. He rolled his eyes, but if he was honest with himself he kind of liked the idea of Leah as his girlfriend, why, he has no fucking idea, but he does.

"Where's the rabbit?"-Leah asked looking for it, but only saw a black Bentley in front of them.

"They gave me a car too."-he said grinning and tugged her towards it and using that as an excuse to grab her hand. Maybe be this little plan worked and he and Leah can not only get along, but maybe come back here for an actual date. He thought about the hostess currently lying on the floor and figured maybe they should go somewhere else.

"They entrusted you with this?"-she asked surprised because she sure as hell wouldn't have.

"Yeah they were desperate."-he said opening the passenger door for her.

"Give me the keys I want to drive."-she said holding out her hand and he scoffed.

"Uh uh no way."-he said shaking his head, but she pouted and he felt his will breaking; damn her and her adorable pout.

"Pleeeeeaaaaase."-she pouted and clasped her hands together in front of her face only leaving those dreadfully adorable eyes visible. He groaned frustrated at how she was playing him and how he was letting her.

"On one condition."-he said smirking

"What condition?"-she asked wearily. He stepped forward and leaned down to her ear and she swallowed not liking what the hell his nice as fuck body was doing to her. Who is she kidding she loved what it was doing she just didn't want him to know and she sure had no plans on telling her. She lifted her hand and placed it on the inside of his suit jacket and leaned into him.

"You be my girlfriend."-he whispered, making his lips ghost over her ear and she suppressed a moan and shiver and put on her signature scowl.

"Hell no."-she said pulling back and crossing her arms.

"Just until we get back to the res. I can make up my own rules too."-he said putting his smirk back on.

"Hell. No."-she said slowly, but on the inside was giddy like a little girl at the fact he wanted to keep her as his girlfriend if only for another hour; damn his sexiness. Jacob felt a blow to his ego, but shrugged it off.

"Oh, well then passenger seat for you."-he said shrugging and was about to walk to the driver's side when she all but flew over and got in.

"And how do you plan on driving without the keys?"-he said leaning down to the passenger window smiling smugly. Next thing he knows the engine revs and the car is pulling off.

"What the fuck?"-he says wide eyed as he watched the car disappearing. Leah beeped the horn. He patted himself down trying to find where he put the keys then remembered her leaning in and touching him when he whispered in her ear.

"She didn't?"-he said in disbelief until he heard the horn again and saw her hand waving out the window with keys in them and he heard her laughing.

"Whose leaving who now sucka!"-she squealed and laughed before the car was completely out of sight. He stood there not believing his eyes.

"She'll come back she's not leaving not after the way she reacted when she thought I left her. She knows how it feels she wouldn't do that."-he said to himself as he crossed his arms waiting then thought maybe she was getting him back for that very reason.

"No, she wouldn't I'll just wait."-he said to himself

_Twenty-five minutes later…_

"I can't believe it she actually left me!"-he said still standing in that same spot.

"Nicely played Clearwater, but you want to play we'll play and I'll get you back…and then I'll get you. Game on Leah."-he said smiling and went in the direction of the woods to phase and run home.

_Meanwhile back at the Black Home…_

"We're in deep shit."-Billy said sitting at the kitchen table

"Yeah we are."-Sue said drinking her coffee

"Do you think they'll kill each other or Leah will come back pregnant."-Sue asked chuckling at the thought of those two going from always trying to kill each other to lovers.

"Both."-Billy said sipping his beer

"Both, how do you figure?"-she asked eyeing him

"I saw what Leah was wearing and I've seen the way Jacob looks at her when she's dressed in ripped dirty clothes. Add that with Leah's temper and high standards it equals Jacob dead and Leah pregnant."-he said laughing

"Yeah I wasn't going to say anything, but I see the way he looks at my daughter- hell all of those horny teenage bastard look at her, but Jacob is definitely the worse. I've caught her peeking at him too." she gasped "You planned this to get them together didn't you?"-Sue asked pointing at him accusingly; Billy shrugged.

"Why whatever do you mean Sue?"-he said innocently, but the look in his eye said it all.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: Hope you like! Thought about continuing with the man & Jake both chasing Lee, but I doubt it we'll see though *shrugs* If I do it won't be anytime soon though already have enough full length storied lined up.

_The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…so I need you to read then I need you to review…and I'll teach you how to pose right unlike Angelina Jolie. Did she seriously think that was cute O_0?_ She looked utterly ridiculous & I don't see how ppl can find her attractive or talented. Home wrecker gets on my nerves & seriously needs to eat those arms were on the verge of snapping. I'm all for skinny empowerment or whatev b/c I'm not exactly the heaviest, but come on!


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